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Everyone is a unique individual. Life has its own trajectory. There is no personality in life, and we don’t want to be labeled, let alone be arranged to develop according to a certain reference coordinate system. Abandon stereotypes and show different attitudes. We discuss all topics together, and the conclusions vary from person to person.
We discussed age and savings, as well as male sterilization, Real and fake socialites, rich tutors and no consumerism, in this issue we will talk about men wearing Hanfu.
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月Mi
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Hair removal, makeup, wigs, and jewelry... In addition to these external efforts, men wearing Hanfu are also burdened with society's gender stereotypes. What stories have they experienced wearing Hanfu, and what conflicts and reconciliations have they had with society and their families? Has there been any cognitive transformation?
The Anti-Personality Club found three men wearing Hanfu this time and wanted to chat. Their stories.
As an "old 2D person", I have been fond of 2D and various derivative cultures since I was very young. . In the circles I’m in contact with, the trend of wearing Hanfu has always been strong. Up owners who follow me often set up flags such as “Wear Hanfu if you get more than 10,000 likes.” In high school, I was in the school’s animation club, and I continued to watch many of them. The senior wore Hanfu when cosplaying.
I am quite curious after reading more. The seniors are all straight men. How can they Wear it, can I try it on too? I want to know what I would look like wearing Hanfu.
The sisters in the animation club were very supportive of my idea and said "Then I'll do your makeup then" "Then I'll help you prepare your dress”, so in my sophomore year of high school, I actually asked them to borrow a lo-skirt and go out.
I still remember that it was a club garden party. I borrowed a wig and a sweet pink skirt and put on special makeup. Imagine that I am about 1.7 meters tall and my shoulders are larger than average. The girl is much wider, and her facial contours such as cheekbones are more obvious, but she is wearing a sweet-style skirt. Isn’t it very inconsistent?
I don’t know if it’s due to commercial bragging, but many students told me it looked pretty good, so I felt that although the first attempt wasn’t perfect, it was at least partially advisable. Can be improved.
The second try came quickly and I chose my destiny carefully. The cosplay costume of the character Kasugano Qiong is a white yukata. Because I was prepared, it looked more natural than the last time. I also consciously paid attention to my posture, not to move around, and not to be too masculine. After all, I am wearing Hanfu. You have to work hard to have a feminine beauty.
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On campus The try-on film was shot. Picture / mentioned by the intervieweefor
For me, wearing Hanfu for the first time was accidental, but not unexpected.
I am a transgender person. I have been confused about gender since I was a child. I should be a girl. When I was in kindergarten, I often wore skirts to perform on stage, and adults would put on super beautiful makeup on me. I liked that feeling very much, but I hated myself wearing men's clothes, so I never felt confident because of it.
I have always had the idea of wearing Hanfu, but I still feel a little ashamed, no Really practiced. Until the end of 2016, I made a bet with my friends. At that time, it was very popular to bet that whoever loses would wear Hanfu and take photos and post it, because I had this idea myself. This was a good excuse for me. I could finally try Hanfu, and even if I was beaten by my family, I discovered that I could also use my bet to lose.
I don’t remember the content of the bet at that time. I only remember that I would definitely lose if I voted on purpose. option, and then got the chance to wear Hanfu for the first time as an adult. My friends bought me a sailor suit and asked me to wear it. I found a hotel and put on the sailor suit in the room. I didn't dare to go out wearing it. I only walked carefully around the hotel corridor.
When I put on Hanfu, there was no special feeling. To be precise, I realized that the awkward and weird feeling that had followed me for more than ten years disappeared. More It feels familiar, as if I'm wearing a piece of clothing that originally belonged to me.
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Picture/provided by interviewee
I am 30 years old and have been wearing Hanfu for almost 10 years.
I liked beautiful clothes when I was a child, but it wasn’t until I went to college that I left After I got married, everything became more relaxed, and I finally had the opportunity to buy myself Hanfu for the first time. It's been so long ago that I don't even remember what style I was wearing at that time. I just remember that I was a sophomore in college, and I chose a lot on Taobao. Finally, I fell in love with a set of daily clothes, and I bought them secretly and wore them secretly. It wasn’t until I became financially independent after graduation that I dared to disclose this hobby.
Wearing Hanfu is a process of pursuing beauty, so I started losing weight, hair removal, and plastic surgery. tooth. After persisting for a long time, I have reduced my weight from 125 pounds to almost 110 pounds now. I majored in science and engineering, and I pay more attention to efficiency. In order to improve my makeup skills, I also went to a training school to sign up for a self-image class and systematically learned makeup. Two years ago, I also started to grow my hair long, and I usually wear Hanfu when I go out. It won't be easy to find.
There is a more two-dimensional name for these hobbies of mine, called "pseudo-girl" . After I started wearing Hanfu, I met a lot of people who like it. I first posted on Tieba and Zhihu. Starting in September 2016, I updated videos and columns on station b, basically recording my daily life wearing Hanfu.
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Picture/provided by interviewee
As a straight man, people often ask me why I like to wear Hanfu. My girlfriend also said that she can’t figure it out when I look at it. What does it feel like to put on a little skirt by yourself. In fact, in my heart, I don't limit myself to what image I have to be. I can be another look, I can have many looks, as long as I think I look good, I can do whatever I want.
I let everyone know openly, and the understanding of people around me gave me A lot of courage. For example, when I was in high school, if I wanted to wear Hanfu to participate in activities, I basically had to put on makeup in advance and take a class off. The teacher only occasionally teased me: "Are you going to go out and pretend to be a girl again?" and gave me approval. Fake.
I am not afraid of others knowing that I wear Hanfu, nor am I afraid of being misunderstood. I think this Nothing shameful. My family is also very lenient towards me, allowing me to wear Hanfu on certain occasions, such as comic exhibitions and performances. It’s no problem to wear it on such occasions. However, they still hope that I won’t wear it too often, saying they are afraid that their acquaintances will find out what they will say about me.
My girlfriend knows my hobby of Hanfu and chooses to be with me. Many friends are here After they got to know me and knew that I could wear Hanfu, they just sighed and it didn't affect my relationship with them at all.
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Jinyin ( Right) Photo with friends. Picture/provided by interviewee
My mother passed away at the beginning of 2017, and the company also closed down due to the industry downturn. Coupled with the ongoing gender pressure, Multiple blows hit me all at once. I took my newly bought sailor uniform to the hotel, hoping to take some time off.
The reason why I come to the hotel by myself every time to change into Hanfu is that we live together My younger brother is still in school and I am afraid it will affect him. The other one is also worried that my change will be too sudden for my family and they will not be able to accept it.
It was also this year that I made up my mind to go to Shanghai to get a transgender identification. I have always preferred to wear Hanfu more than men's clothing, and I have searched a lot of relevant information on the Internet, but I still hope to have a scientific identification result to confirm whether my gender identity is really different from my biological sex.
Maybe I am a conservative person, and my mentality at the time was that I hoped that the doctor would persuade me to give up. Me, tell me there is no such situation. As a result, after the doctor talked with me and performed tests, he came to the conclusion that I had gender dysphoria.
After returning from Shanghai, I decided to face my true self and began to wear wigs and Hanfu in public . At first, my father thought that my mother’s death was a huge blow to me and caused me to suffer from mental problems. Later I explained this to him, but he didn't quite understand. His attitude was that I could just live my life, and he didn't interfere too much.
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Picture/Japanese drama "Where did my skirt go?"
》Screenshot
In fact, the word that appears most frequently in the comments under my video is "envy". Most of the people's envy is because of my wife. From the beginning of our relationship, she supported me in wearing Hanfu. She also accompanied me to realize my dream and helped me do ideological work for both parents.
Our wedding photos are also richer than those of other couples. I wear a suit and she wears a suit. There are also photos of her wearing a suit and me wearing a skirt, but what we both like the most are the photos of us wearing wedding dresses together.
I work in hardware design, and I have certain dress requirements, so I still wear men's clothing in the workplace. After I grew my hair long in the past two years, I tied it up at work. Some colleagues would tease me if they knew I wore Hanfu in private, saying I looked like a girl. But I don’t care what other people think, so I don’t feel anything when I hear it occasionally.
My wife is a four-hole girl. She likes cos, Hanfu, Lolita and jk. We We often wear twin pairs when we go shopping and go on self-driving trips together. When I go back to my hometown, I usually dress more neutrally. My family wants to save face, so I have some scruples. Once when I went back to my hometown to meet relatives, my wife and I wore twin skirts. My grandma said that she and I were very well-behaved twins.
My mother also supports me. I send her photos of Hanfu and she knows how to wear them. I especially praised the venue and said "It's so beautiful". When she saw the photo of my wife and I, my mother said, "You two beauties, be careful not to get a marriage certificate for you two."
There are many men who want to try wearing Hanfu, but my mother and my wife can do it There probably aren’t many people who can give me strong support, so I’m extremely lucky.
Smiling (left) One of the wedding photos with his wife Mengmeng (right). Picture/provided by interviewee
There is a saying that "Hanfu can only be worn 0 times and countless times", but I also have a few friends who have only worn it once. After they tried it, they didn't know whether they thought it didn't look good or were afraid of external pressure. Later, when we started teasing them, they just said there would be no next time.
More people should continue to wear them like me. I now have 6 wigs. , 5 lo skirts, and 4-5 jk uniform skirts. I haven’t counted the cosplay clothes, but there are quite a few.
Actually, people around me are very receptive. There are three or four clubs in our club in my current session alone. Let’s put it on, they are all straight men too. Our club even has a tradition: boys wear Hanfu and girls dress up as men. A friend of mine gave me a uniform skirt called "Bai Xue Ji" as a gift after he learned about my Hanfu style.
I have also thought about whether to try wearing it in daily occasions such as school. As soon as I wear it, I want to do my best every time I wear Hanfu. When I think about having to put on makeup, wear contact lenses, take care of fake hair and match jewelry, skirts also need regular maintenance. When I sit down, I also need to wear them. It was really troublesome not being able to sit properly, so I gave up.
Only one time, I wore Hanfu to attend a garden party, and I didn’t have time to change. It was time for class. , I went to the meditation class wearing a full set of Hanfu. There was no special feeling at all. Some of the classmates knew about it, and this kind of big class was a bit rough. The teacher didn't call me by name in that class, and he didn't care whether I was a boy or a girl.
I went to high school and college in other places, and I also participated in comic exhibitions in other places. , so I have never worn Hanfu at home, and my family has only seen it from photos. Although I have some Hanfu and wigs at home, I have never thought about wearing them in front of my family. I don't think it's necessary. It's enough that they support me wearing it occasionally. There's no need to cause unnecessary discussions.
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Hanfu
Participate in school activities. Figure / Provided by interviewee
In fact, during the job search process, I also encountered a lot of incomprehension and even discrimination.
Many companies have good conversations during interviews.The interviewers were also very satisfied with my work experience and abilities, and several companies even recognized me and were willing to give me a relatively high basic salary. But I didn't want to hide it. After truthfully explaining my true situation to them, most of them changed their faces and said that they needed to communicate with the company again and asked me to go back and wait for notification. After that, nothing happened again.
It’s not that I haven’t thought about wearing men’s clothes at work and changing back to Hanfu in private, but After thinking about it carefully, since I chose to start my own life after my mother passed away, I shouldn't suppress myself for a job. And if you deliberately hide it from companies that are interested, even if you can get a job, I don't think it's good.
Fortunately, after repeatedly hitting the wall, I met two "magic" bosses who were willing to accept it. I'm onboarded. I was working in sales at a shopping mall, and I usually went to the accessible bathroom.
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Which bathroom should a transgender person go to
Most
One of the common embarrassments.
Picture/Japanese drama " Women's Life
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Except for work, I basically wear Hanfu now. Sometimes my wife wears pants and I wear a skirt next to her. It doesn't matter if she wears Hanfu. I still cook for her and drive her to various places.
Becoming more beautiful is really addictive. I just started wearing Hanfu When I was young, some people said that my protruding mouth was unsightly, so I got braces. Then I started losing weight and learning makeup. Every time I post new videos and photos, fans say that I am getting better and better. What's more, I'm really happy to have my wife accompany me to get better.
Many people are curious about why there are breasts in my Hanfu photos and ask me if I have breast augmentation. I have written an article before, "How much does it cost for a man to dress up in Hanfu?" money? 》, which recommended wigs that I was quite satisfied with and also talked about the breast pads I used.
When my wife took pictures wearing men's clothing, she bought herself a muscle suit. I also have the same idea when wearing Hanfu. In addition to dressing, there are many details to pay attention to, such as spraying on good-smelling perfume, wearing some suitable jewelry, and applying quick-drying nail polish that is easy to peel off. I hope my My experience can give some reference to boys who want to be cute.
What I wrote in the video is what I want to say to everyone: "In this world There is nothing that boys or girls should look like. No matter who you are, I hope you can be your truest self. I hope that one day, boys can be pink and girls can be blue, and people will not force others. Be the way it should be."
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Girls can also wear suits,
Boys can also wear wedding dresses
. Picture/provided by interviewee
For me, wearing Hanfu is no different from hobbies such as playing games and watching movies. People are happy. When I put on Hanfu, I feel like I have a new account, and I have an extra person. It’s quite fun to switch between the big and small sizes and experience various sensations. I like this nice-looking trumpet.
Continuously receiving positive feedback from the outside world may be one of the reasons why I persist. Every time I post a photo online, friends will leave comments below to praise me. To be honest, it makes me happy to see that they think I am awesome and that I look good.
The stereotype of boys in society is that if they are more refined and know how to put on makeup when going out, they will It’s easy to be considered gay. If girls dress well in men’s clothes, we can praise them for being cool and handsome. But if boys look good in Hanfu, they should also be praised generously, right?
As far as I know, the pressure faced by boys in the Hanfu circle is quite high. Especially trans and cross-dressing ones. So if I have the chance, I still want to speak out for them. If their living conditions are better, those of us who are purely entertaining will be more relaxed and can bear less strange looks.
I really enjoy the process of "restoring" myself by wearing Hanfu. I no longer have men's clothes in my wardrobe, and my hair is also I have long hair and don’t need to wear a wig. If you don’t look at the ID card, my social gender is already female.
Now, I am working as a game anchor, and the Internet is more inclusive than offline work. , I decide by myself when I want to broadcast it, what content I want to broadcast, and how long I want to broadcast it. I no longer have to be embarrassed about which toilet to go to like before..
In the live broadcast room, I will communicate with the audience as a girl, maybe "
Transgender
", "Hanfu boss" and other tags can bring Come for more attention, but I don't want to use such a "traffic password". I don't hide anything, nor do I emphasize it. I don't want to be treated specially. I want to make friends with everyone freely.
But I still can’t help but worry during the live broadcast, such as Does the sound sound natural? Will your Adam's apple be exposed? Occasionally when I am asked if I am a "man" or a "Hanfu boss", my heart will skip a beat, I will suddenly become very nervous, and my hands will sweat like crazy. I don’t know how to describe this sadness. When I don’t rest well, I may even feel a little dizzy.
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Picture/Japanese drama "I will live a good life in my next life"
》Screenshot
I don’t have many fans yet, but I think I already have a group of relatively loyal viewers. They would compliment me on how good-looking I am, and if I had some exclusive perspective when explaining the game, they would also give me a thumbs up. Regardless of whether they know my biological gender or not, they still support me as always. I am really grateful to them.
It's not always easy for me to wear Hanfu. A while ago, my wife, who has always been supportive of me, started to persuade me to wear less.
Once my wife and I said: "When we have a baby in the future, let the baby cry My mother, he has two mothers. "She felt that I went too far from that day on. It was okay to wear it occasionally, but she couldn't accept the impact on her children.
I also asked a big boss in the Hanfu life industry, and he also asked his children to call him daddy. I slowly realized that it was just my fantasy. My wife even said, "Girls should look like girls, and boys should look like boys." I felt disappointed and sad at the time, and started to I wonder if she has never really supported my Hanfu?
On impulse, I took half a day off to go to the barber shop. On the way, I took my I threw away the necklace and bracelet that my wife gave me, and asked the barber to shave off my long hair that I had had for several years. What I was thinking at the time was to cut off all my escape routes. Would it be possible for me to never wear Hanfu again in the future? No more quarrels with your family?
But in fact, when the electric clipper passed over my head for the first time, I I started to regret it. After calming down, I realized that my hair was gone, as were my necklace and bracelet. Not to mention how sad I was. I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep at night. I even asked my wife why she didn't stop me.
In the days after shaving my hair, I thought a lot, and now I don’t I had trouble with my family again, and my wife cried and told me a lot. No matter whether she was wearing Hanfu or not, I couldn’t bear to see my wife cry. I love her very much and don’t want to make her sad.
I will not update videos in the near future, nor will I wear Hanfu. I want to use this time to think about how to continue living with my wife. No matter what, we will not be separated.
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Picture/Movie Screenshot of "He actually doesn't like you that much
"
(The characters in the article are all pseudonyms.)
The article is original by Daily People, and any infringement will be investigated.
